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Posted 20/12/2014 by Ysteven in category Me, My Ego, and My Thoughts.

This post was written on easter 2014 with support of

Today, I want to tell a story about my belief.

I was born on a Catholic family. A very strict Catholic family, which sometimes frustrates me. It frustrates me how strict they are to rules and regulations in Catholic Church.

Sometimes, this frustration led me to anger at Jesus. I am disappointed seeing people so strict to the rule that they do not care about what matters : what people feels.

As I grow older, I understood their strictness. Although I disagree with them, I practiced them. Secretly, I even became one of them with my disappointment towards a friend of mine who disobey the Catholic rule.

But as a Catholic, there are a some things outside the Catholic rule that I believe in.

I believe that there is heaven for everyone, not only for Christians. A Christian friend of mine openly attack me for this belief, and that makes me mad. I believe that Lord is too kind to let someone off from heaven just because he is not a Christian. I think that if “Lord” really only let Christians inside heaven, I will not believe in Him.

I believe that people believe what they want to believe, and I believe no one should be forced to believe in something. People should respect each other believe. No one should force religion and belief to others.

But that story of what I believe in is not what I really want to tell right now.

Yesterday, my bipolar disorder attack me. I suddenly feel like my head wants to explode in anxiety, thinking how little I have achieve in this life compared to another people. Unfortunately, I lost the battle and I can’t go to church on Good Friday.

Earlier today, while watching a movie in cinema, I feel sick. I feel the same attack as yesterday. Thank God, I win the battle today. I didn’t collapse and I can celebrate Easter Vigil by going to the church.

What makes me win today is the new belief I got, which was inspired from last Thursday’s White Thursday mass at Theresia Church. At the mass, the Pastor told me about how Eucharist have the power of transformation : to transform hate into love, sadness into joy. I believe that I am going to be better if I attend the church instead of collapsing at home. I believe I will be transformed after tonight’s mass, and I will have new power and joy.

And today I am the witness of Eucharist’s power of transformation. Even before going to the church, I already feel the excitement of how all my anxiety and sorrow will be transformed into joy, blessings, and hope.

I don’t want to talk a lot about how Euchaist have that power of transformation, for I am not a preacher. I only tell stories of my experience. But if you asked me what I believe in, the transformation power comes through the communion, where I receives the body of christ as a symbol of union with Jesus.

For everything I have, it was from the Lord. Through Eucharist, Jesus gives me happiness, joy, and freed me from anxiety.

So… If Eucharist have that big of power, the question remains : So if you are not in Church, you can’t talk to God?

Of course not. I believe that Eucharist is a celebration of the union between me with God. Underline the word “celebration”. I believe that God is very good and caring for us, that He is here all the time, not only on Eucharist. He is our best friend, helper, and saviour. It’s just that sometimes, we need to celebrate things with our best friend, for the friendship to grow.

This is what I believe. If what you believe is different, it’s okay… Because I believe God wanted us to love one another, no matter what we believe in. :)

Ask small questions

Posted 17/12/2014 by Ysteven in category Me, My Ego, and My Thoughts.

I am currently reading “One small step can change your life”, which is also known as The Kaizen Way by Robert Maurer. In the second chapter of the book, Robert tips us about the benefit of asking small questions.

Basically, Robert talk about how questions forced our brain to work, and when our brain work, we unconciously become motivated to do things.

I think it makes sense. These small questions, such as “What is the color of the car beside you when you park this morning”, can be a good exercise for our brain. And just like our body, a well exercised brain perform better.

Not only in this book, my uncle also once told me about the importance of brain training via small questions. He would ask me a lot of small question, such as “Where do you think the car in front would go? To the left or to the right?”

Now I understand why.

I will get better

Posted 15/05/2014 by Ysteven in category Me, My Ego, and My Thoughts.

Three months has passed since my life started crumbling down. Three months has passed since my mental health condition took everything away from me : my career, my master degree, my relationships with colleague and friends.

At first, I thought losing it all was easy. I thought it means I am finally free from all the stress I couldn’t handle on my career back then. I thought I finally got the chance to do anything I want, to pursue my passion and my dreams. Three months later, I realize I was wrong. It was not easy at  all. Losing it all crushed me inside and out.

It took away my confidence. I began to think that I am destined to failure, like I have done so.

It took away my spirit. My health condition took away my courage to meet or communicate people, resulting in a lonely and depressed me.

It took away my passion. I get used to feeling depressed that I forget how to feel happy and passionate.

And the most dangerous of all, it took away my will to live. At the lowest point, I even prayed to God to take away my life.

But this is not the end. This is not the end at all.

Nowadays, I feel better than I used to. Even though I still have some problems, I rarely hear sounds in my head, which has been huge problems in the last year or so. I began to get better control of my mind and my body, although sometimes I still lose it.

But I am positive. I will get better. I will get stronger. I need to get better and stronger.

Here are a few things that keeps me positive and keeps my fighting spirit alive :

First. I am very grateful for the blessings that I have, which has descended from heaven in the form of endless support from family and friends. When I spent days lying uselessly in bed, I got families that brings me food and drinks. When I feel depressed, I got friends that cheer me up and put a smile in my dull face. I want to repay their kindness and I will not let their efforts be in vain.

Second. I have dreams. It’s time to reignite those dreams. Even though I have to start from the bottom again, even though I have experienced failure, even though I have lost a lot of time and effort previously, I have to rise up and start pursuing those dreams. For it was our dreams that makes us special.

Third, and the most important of all, is God.

No Business Last Forever

Posted 19/04/2014 by Ysteven in category Business.

I recently read this article saying that no business last forever. The article talks about “The Innovator’s Dillema”, in which Clayton Christensen talks about how a big company get too dependent on their cash-cow products and services, making them less innovative.

In the article, Facebook is said to be pivot-ing to another business concept and becoming a Bank instead. The explanation is very make sense that it is kinda creepy to hear.

The article inspired me to think, how we often become scared to start a business because we don’t think it is big enough. The fact is, if a successful business such as facebook needs innovation in business model, what about the not-so-successful?

The idea was to start. Start doing business, and we will meet customers, ideas will popped up, and we can always innovate our business model.

Always be open minded, it is crucial. Redesigned | A Late Experiment with Flat UI

Posted 15/04/2014 by Ysteven in category Art, Design, & Illustration.

Heiho, peeps. is back, and it has a new look with Flat User Interface!

I’ve been meaning to try designing a flat UI for a while, but I don’t have any time due to my job and all. Now that I’m resting at home to recover from my health condition, I have time to redesign Ysteven and experimenting with Flat UI at the same time.

Some things I learned during this experiment :

– If you are designing flat UI, avoid shadow. I find that #CCC ( light grey ) is already too bold.
Typography is crucial in flat UI. Choose the wrong font, and the whole design is flawed.
We spend more time configuring Typo than Layout.

What do you think of the new design? Is it too flat for you? Please let me know!

Latte On The Rocks

Posted 26/03/2014 by Ysteven in category Food, Coffee and Beverages.

Hello, it’s been so long since my last post here. In fact, a lot has happened since my last update here : I got relieved from work because of my health problems, and Ive used that time to focus on recovery and developing a new blog called

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Doaku malam ini : Seribu. Sejuta. Satu.

Posted 10/10/2013 by Ysteven in category Me, My Ego, and My Thoughts.

Aku mungkin punya seribu kelemahan dan sejuta masalah. Tetapi aku bersyukur karena aku memiliki satu Tuhan yang ada di sampingku saat aku menghadapi seluruh masalah tersebut.
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